Paradox: A Death Dealers MC Novella (Book 5.5) Read online

  “Wait, what happened to your old lady?” I ask.

  “Got tired of the life, I suppose. She up and left a few months ago.”

  “Fuck, man. I’m sorry.”

  “Eh, it’s life.” He shrugs, turning in his chair and aiming a pointed stare at Krueger. “What’s it going to take to prove to you that I’m a worthy candidate?”

  I glance between the two men sharing an unwavering glare. They’re actually more alike than they know. I think I need to take myself out of the equation and give them time to work this out.

  “I’ll give you men some time to talk. Use the room as long as you like, and if you need anything, you let me know.”

  I close the chapel doors behind me and set out to find my wife and kids. Hopefully, those two don’t kill each other.

  CHAPTER 10

  E SQUARED

  ***Ellen***

  “Momma?”

  “Yes, baby?”

  “When will my baby brother come out of your tummy?”

  “Soon.” I tuck Mikey’s blanket under his chin. “But you could be getting a baby sister. I don’t want you to feel bad if it’s a girl.”

  “I won’t.”

  He wrestles his hand free of the covers and places it on my belly, gently rubbing it.

  “Good night, baby.” He yawns, eyes already closing.

  “Sweet dreams, baby boy.” I kiss his forehead, smiling down at him before turning off the light. He’s going to be a great big brother.

  I enter our bedroom, the sound of the shower running letting me know Jon is still in there. My eye catches my mom’s letter on the wall and I walk over to it. Jon found it when we were moving in and had it laminated and framed. He also made a copy so I have something to hold in my hands. I touch the frame, reading the last sentence: Find a man who makes you laugh… one who tells you you’re beautiful… one you can depend on but not be dependent on.

  I did, Mom. I found him. It won’t be much longer before I’m his wife. I know she’d love him. If she was here, she probably would have realized he was the one before I did.

  “Is he down?” Jon’s voice cuts into my thoughts, and I turn to see him walking into the room.

  “Out like a light.”

  “I’ll check on him in a bit, but I want to run something by you.”

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  He grabs his phone, scrolling through it as he approaches me.

  “I know you’ll handle all the wedding plans, but I have a request.”

  “Oh?” I smile, raising a brow.

  “I want this to be the song we have our first dance to.”

  I listen closely as the song starts playing. It’s not just a song for a wedding, it’s a wedding song, complete with “I dos.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I tell him.

  “It is, and it says everything I want you to know.” He takes my hands, eyes locked on mine. “There’s a verse where she says something about him choosing us, and when I heard it, I thought… I would choose us… me and you… but…” He takes a deep breath. “If I look at it from your point of view, I’d choose you and Mikey. The two of you, our baby… that’s the ‘us’ I’d choose every time.”

  “Oh, Jon….”

  Tears cloud my eyes, stinging them as a million emotions fight for dominance. My heart constricts, unable to handle the war. I didn’t realize it before, but there was still a part of me holding on to Eddie and thoughts of the life we never had the chance to live. It’s probably why I haven’t sold the house; it’s a physical representation of that. Well, no more. Jon’s words have chipped away at the final remnants of that “what could have been,” and I feel freer than I ever have. First thing tomorrow, I’m finding a real estate agent and closing that chapter in my life.

  “That’s why I want all of us to have that first dance together,” he continues. “All four of us.”

  “You mean…?”

  He pulls me close, arm sliding to my back. “Yes. I’m not just marrying you. I want to adopt Mikey, give him my last name. Alongside Eddie’s, of course. I’m not trying to erase him.”

  “He’d love that,” I whisper through my sobs, wrapping my arms around the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with. “So would I.”

  “Thank you.” He rests his forehead on mine. My lids flutter closed.

  “I was right,” I choke out.

  “About what?”

  “My mom would have loved you. You’re everything she wanted for me, and more than I could ever need.”

  Pulling back, I meet his hazel eyes once more. The love in his gaze is something I’ll never get tired of seeing. God, I’m lucky he saw more than a one-night stand in me.

  “Jon… I’m glad you chose me.”

  ***Einstein***

  “Hey, brother,” I answer the phone, careful not to wake Ellen.

  “Did I wake you?” Gage asks.

  I slide out of bed, heading to the living room so we can talk. “Like you care.”

  “You’re right, I don’t.” He chuckles.

  “What’s up?”

  “Krueger. He took the bait but he’s not happy.”

  “So he’s gonna back Mission?”

  “Yeah. On the condition that I’m up after Mission.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  Krueger might be our national president, but he’s an asshole who loves getting his way. I wouldn’t put it past him to kill Mission once he takes the chair so he can put Gage in it.

  “You and me both. That’s why I threw out my own condition: no interference from him. Mission does his time, and if there’s any foul play, I’m out.”

  “You think that will stop him?”

  “I hope it does. I’m also hoping Mission has a long reign.”

  “Shit. For your sake, I hope he does, too. What about your other problems?”

  There’s a deep sigh on the other end of the phone.

  “Raven made me let them go. Said she didn’t want that on her conscience. If they know what’s good for them, they’ll stay away.”

  “So we’re all good?”

  “For now, I guess. Who knows what will come up next? My life is one endless shit storm.”

  “Next is my wedding, man. I’m not letting anything stop, delay, or affect that in any way.”

  “I’m with you, bro. Shorty deserves this.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And so do you,” he adds. “I told you you’d find her. I just didn’t think it would be my baby sister.”

  “Me neither, but… she’s it, Gage.”

  “I’m glad. It’s our time, E. Our time to finally be happy.”

  “I hear you. It’s been a long time coming.”

  “Fuckin’ right.”

  We finish our conversation and I climb back into bed with Ellen. Gage is right. It’s time to claim some lasting happiness for ourselves, and I’m doing it with both hands outstretched.

  It’s my time.

  CHAPTER 11

  RAGE

  ***Raven***

  I love my kids to death, but after two months of barely any sleep, Mommy jumped at the chance when Chopper and Ellen offered to babysit them. Gage told me he’d be late and would grab dinner on the road, so thankfully that relieved me of cooking duties. The first thing I did was take a long soak in the tub. Covering my bra and panties with one of his T-shirts, I climb into bed and reach for my neglected tablet, trying to read a bit before my husband gets home.

  It’s not long before I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. Every evening, his first stop is the nursery, so I wait for him to wander in here when he finds it empty. When he walks in and sees I’m alone, his brows draw together in confusion.

  “Where are they?”

  “Hi, honey, I’m home.” I place my tablet on the nightstand, not holding back my sarcastic tongue. “How was your day?”

  “Sorry, babe.” He smiles, coming over to kiss my forehead. “Just surprised is all.”

  “Chaos is with
Chopper, and Hailey is with Ellen and Dr. E.”

  He immediately pulls out his phone, checking on them before undressing.

  “Satisfied?” I ask.

  “For now.” He grins.

  “Dr. E seemed pretty keen on taking Hailey. I’m thinking we might be getting a niece.”

  “Yeah? He hasn’t said anything to me because he thinks I’d let it slip to shorty.”

  “Guess we’ll find out in a couple months.”

  “It’s going to be baby central around here. With how Venom and Emily go at each other, I won’t be surprised if they’re next.”

  “Right. Reminds me of a couple I used to know.” I smirk.

  “Just say the word, baby doll.” He winks, grabbing his crotch as he heads to the bathroom. “I’m always ready.”

  Chewing on my lip, I contemplate his words. Once again, I’m the problem. The doctors cleared me for sex weeks ago, but with the babies and being tired all the time, I haven’t exactly felt up to it. I haven’t felt desirable either. I know Gage doesn’t care about the extra weight or what my body looks like, but I do. My body… everything’s not as… tight as it used to be. I hate that I feel like this again, but I can’t help it, can’t help feeling like I won’t satisfy him. The doctor warned me that on account of breastfeeding, it might take a bit longer to get aroused and I could also experience dryness. Then there’s the issue of my breasts. Gage has always loved them. Now they’re hard and swollen and constantly leaking. It’s great for my babies, but not so much for our sex life.

  “What are you thinking about?” Gage’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.

  “Nothing.” I brush him off, picking up my tablet once more.

  “Babe.” He looks pointedly at the device.

  Despite my morbid thoughts, he makes me giggle. I shake my head and set it aside, curling up next to him when he joins me in bed. “I know, I know. Book time’s over. Nice to see some things never change.”

  I think about the night he said that—the night I spent in his bed at the clubhouse. The night he asked me to stay. I remember how he resisted touching me. I wish he hadn’t. I wish I’d been more persuasive. That one night could have changed everything.

  “It just seems so long since we had some alone time. I want you all to myself.”

  “You shouldn’t have waited,” I whisper.

  “What do you mean?”

  “To make love. We shouldn’t have waited for my birthday. If you hadn’t….” I close my eyes, willing back the tears forming.

  “Where is this coming from?” He sits up, taking me with him.

  “I never told you this, but Deena… she said the only reason you wanted me was because I was a virgin. That’s why she did it.”

  “Babe.” He cradles my face, forcing me to look at him. “That bitch was crazy. Whatever reason she thought she had was a figment of her imagination.”

  “I know, but—”

  “No buts. I wish to God it hadn’t happened, Raven. I’d give anything to be able to undo it, but where would we be if it hadn’t? Yeah, we had crazy chemistry, but you said that’s all it was. All those months we spent together after made me see everything I didn’t want to before.”

  “I was a mess.”

  “And I fell in love with you. I hate to admit it, but if I’d fucked you in the beginning, maybe we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

  “I would have been another notch on the bedpost, huh?”

  “Maybe. What happened—as horrible as it was—it’s just… our story. It got us here, to this point. It brought us closer and that… that I’ll always be grateful for. It made us who we are.”

  “Rage.”

  “Rage,” he confirms, jaw clenching.

  He’s right. Our life together has never been easy, and it probably never will be. We’re defined by what we’ve endured together. Everything that’s happened, we’ve handled as a team. Whatever is thrown our way, we’ll always come out on top, and stronger than ever.

  “Do you remember? The moment you realized you fell in love with me?”

  “Fell? I’m still falling, baby doll.”

  “Gage….” I stop fighting my tears, letting them fall freely down my cheeks. “I love you. I love you so much.”

  I press my lips to his, feverishly kissing him as I straddle him. His fingers slide into my hair, holding me in place. He takes over, devouring my lips, tongue delving into my mouth. Sliding back and forth, I grind on his dick, moaning as he gets harder and harder.

  “Raven,” he growls, ripping his lips from mine.

  Our eyes meet, his seeking permission to continue. I nod, needing him more than I ever have before.

  “Turn around,” he continues in the same gruff voice. I heed his instruction. “Good girl.”

  Fuck. My muscles clench. He knows what those words do to me.

  Spreading his legs, he fits me between them, pulling my back to his chest. My legs tremble from his touch when his fingertips glide up my inner thighs.

  “I missed you, babe,” he mumbles, burying his nose in my neck before trailing it up and nipping at my earlobe with his teeth.

  “Gage.” His name comes out on a gasp.

  He cups my pussy over my panties, groaning in my ear. “Fuck, I missed the heat of my pussy… my tight, wet heaven.”

  For a moment, I think about pulling away but he doesn’t give me a chance, hand diving inside my underwear. I gasp again, a smile forming on my lips when his fingers glide across my clit.

  I’m wet.

  We both moan. I reach up, fingers sliding into his hair, nails scraping his scalp.

  God, I missed him, too.

  “Sí, papi… ahí. Tócame….”

  My head falls back on his shoulder and he latches on to the base of my neck, sucking and licking my skin. His fingers work their magic, stoking the fire kindling inside me. Before I know what’s happening, I’m on my back and he’s on top of me. He reaches for my T-shirt but I grab his hands.

  “Not… not yet. Please.”

  He nods, reaching under it instead to tug my panties off. He tosses it to the floor, then positions himself between my thighs.

  “You’re beautiful, Raven. This body carried my children, feeds them. If you think that makes me want you less, you’re sadly mistaken.”

  There he goes, always saying exactly what I need to hear.

  “Shut up and kiss me.” I grab his shoulders, pulling him down to me.

  Our lips meet in a frenzy of motion, all our pent-up energy and frustration of the last few months coming to the surface. I can’t kiss him enough, taste him enough, feel him enough. My hands roam his back, nails digging into his flesh. He grinds on me, his dick straining against his boxers. I can’t take it anymore. I need him inside me.

  Frantic, I push his boxers down, enclosing his dick in a fist. He groans, hips thrusting into my palm.

  “You ready, babe?”

  “Yes. Please!”

  His hand replaces mine and he wastes no more time, surging inside me. My head presses into the pillow, a wheezing breath escaping me as my body struggles against the invasion.

  “Shit! I’m sorry, baby doll.”

  He tries to retreat but I grip his ass, keeping him in place. I stare into his eyes, panting.

  “Fuck me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Don’t hold back.”

  He begins to move, planting both hands on either side of my head. I spread my legs wider, giving him room to work.

  “Fuck, Raven. Best pussy in the world. My pussy.”

  Moaning, I grab onto the headboard, the sound of it banging on the wall matching Gage’s strokes.

  “Fuck.” He pulls out of me, resting his dick on my stomach. “Been too long, babe. I think I might embarrass myself.” He chuckles.

  “You could never.”

  His nostrils flare. Flipping me over, he positions me on my knees, ass in the air. He caresses a cheek and I know what’s coming next. He smacks it and the o
ther in quick succession before spreading my legs to his liking. It’s his tongue I feel next, sliding between my lips. He smacks both cheeks simultaneously, pulling me down to his mouth.

  “Gage….”

  My thighs tremble, fingers curling into the pillow as I ride his face. He moves to my clit, licking until I think I might combust. Two fingers slip inside me, working in tandem with his lips and tongue. As amazing as this feels, I need his dick. It’s been too long since I’ve felt him inside me as I came.

  He must be reading my mind because he kneels behind me again, pushing my T-shirt up. His palm slides down my back and I know he’s admiring the tattoo there—his ink, my announcement to the world that I belong to him, permanently engraved into my skin. To us, it says so much more than a ring or a legal document could. I remove the shirt, giving him a better view.

  “Mine,” he mumbles, placing a gentle kiss on my back before sliding inside me once more.

  He grips my hips with a force I’m sure will leave marks, grunting with each thrust. I contract my muscles, squeezing him tight as I meet each one. One hand skates over my skin to wrap around my neck, pulling me to him as he sits back on his heels.

  “Ride me,” he rasps in my ear.

  The hand on my neck tightens, the free one rubbing my clit. I slide back and forth, up, down, and around, trying to give him as much pleasure as he doles out. He groans, easing me off and back to the bed, face up.

  “Need to see your eyes when you come.”

  He reaches for my bra, but I shake my head to stop him. “Not unless you want a faceful of milk.”

  His hands hover over my breasts as my kinky-as-fuck husband actually contemplates the prospect.

  “No, Gage.” I giggle.

  Smirking, he props my leg on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around my thigh and slamming inside me again. I know he won’t stop now, not until I come. It won’t be long because he’s hitting the spot that sets me off like a rocket. Unintelligible things start leaving my mouth, my moaning out of control.

  “Oh God, Gage. Yes!” I scream when my body goes taut.

  “Give it to me, Raven.”

  “I’m… I’m coming.”